Do you have a child starting post-secondary this fall? Here are 10 tips to support them

Starting college or university is a major adjustment for students. As parents, you want to be there to support them, but sometimes you don’t know how. We asked Toronto Metropolitan University (TMU) Student Success Navigators Simran Rattan (Nursing ’19), Jama Bin-Edward (Politics and Governance ’23) and Sofia Lydiatt for some tips on how parents can help their first-year students succeed. 

1) Help your child become independent

This can include teaching your children basic life skills, such as doing laundry and cooking (especially for students who are moving away from home), and managing their finances. Students need to learn how to pay their own bills and be responsible with money as they will be paying for items at school.  

2) Assist with navigating new spaces

Your child should do a campus tour or visit campus and the area around it before the school year starts so they can familiarize themselves with the different buildings, streets, stores and amenities in the area before it gets too crowded. If your child will be living at home and commuting to campus, consider commuting with them and exploring different routes in case of transit or traffic issues.  

3) Encourage use of their school’s website 

Incoming students should learn how to navigate their school’s website because it points them to useful information they will need. Students will also have to create an online account with the school before they start, and should be regularly checking their emails and following updates. 

4) Manage academic expectations

It is common for a student’s grades to drop in college/university, so it’s important to let your child know early on that you are there for them and that setbacks are okay. It is also helpful to share your personal experiences of disappointment and stories of perseverance to help your child get through their challenges and build resilience.

5) Do regular check-ins

It’s important to do regular check-ins with your child to talk to them about any anxieties or fears they have. It can just be a casual chat to see how they are doing and what feelings they are experiencing. You can start having these conversations before the school year starts.

6) Encourage finding a community

Encourage your child to build a support system outside of the home. This could include making new friends, staying in touch with friends from high school, joining a group either inside or outside of college/university, volunteering or getting a part-time job. 

7) Alleviate some responsibilities and commitments 

If your child is living at home, you can help them with chores to alleviate some of the challenges they might have in adapting to college/university life. You should also relax your expectations with your child in other areas, like spending time with family on weekends, so they can prioritize other commitments such as studying. If your child has gone away to school, be prepared for fewer texts or calls, as they adapt to new responsibilities and priorities. 

8) Look out for signs

Pay attention to any behavioural changes, such as poor sleep and hygiene, skipped meals and if your child is overly isolating themself. Also be aware if your child is very emotional and irritable, and if they are no longer interested in the things they like. Even though your child’s first year will be busy and challenging, it’s helpful if they are still in touch with their friends and doing hobbies and activities they enjoy.  

9) Encourage getting help

If you notice that your child is struggling, encourage them to get the support they need. For example, if students are experiencing academic challenges, they can contact their program advisor, visit a professor’s office hours or create a study group. Early intervention is important, as well as reminding your child that post-secondary school is challenging but help is available. 

10) Expect changes

Your child is growing up and going through a different phase in their life, so there will be changes in their personality, behaviours and routines. Remember to be open-minded and available to support them as they need it, both now and throughout their post-secondary journey.