When Friendship Sparks Jealousy

We often think of close friends as people who will always share in our happiness, especially when something amazing happens in our lives. However, this study uncovers a surprising truth: close friendships can sometimes spark jealousy, particularly when extraordinary experiences are involved.

The research shows that people feel more jealous of their close friends’ incredible experiences than those of acquaintances. This happens because we tend to compare ourselves more closely to our best friends than to people we don’t know as well. For example, if your friend goes on an unforgettable vacation or wins an exciting opportunity, you’re more likely to wonder, "Why didn’t that happen to me?"

Interestingly, the study found that keeping such experiences secret doesn’t help. When close friends find out later about something amazing that was hidden from them, the jealousy can feel even worse. The secrecy adds an extra layer of emotional sting, making the discovery feel like a double betrayal: the extraordinary experience itself and the fact that it wasn’t shared openly.

This dynamic has real-world effects beyond just emotions. Jealousy in close friendships can influence the choices we make. For instance, people might hesitate to buy a luxury item or plan a unique adventure if they worry it might lead to jealousy among their friends.

The takeaway? While close friendships are built on shared joy and support, they also come with challenges. Extraordinary experiences, while exciting, can unintentionally create feelings of comparison and jealousy. This study reminds us that even the best relationships can have their emotional complexities, especially when extraordinary events come into play.Wang, L., Nie, X., & Chan, E. Y. (2024). Friendship stings: Jealousy behind a close friend's extraordinary experiences (external link) . Psychology & Marketing, 41, 3060–3071.