This Is Not Art

Cool, Trans, Art

It’s easy to feel inferior when you’re surrounded by cool people. Within a few hours of arriving at Gibraltar Point Centre of the Arts, two things became clear to me: first, that I was the youngest member of the group there, and second, that everyone around me was cool. Not only that, but everyone around me made cool art (which was of infinitely more importance to me than individual coolness). I was at the Centre, located on Toronto Islands, for a weeklong residency – that is, a dedicated time for artists to focus on their creative practices, collaborate with one another, and work uninterrupted, surrounded by nature. This was my first artist residency ever, but it was also the Centre’s first ever all-trans residency.

Surrounded by cool, trans artists who were all older than me (and thus, seemed more experienced and wise than me) was intimidating, but our group of seventeen, almost all of whom were strangers to one another, broke in the boots of our group dynamic quicker than I expected. On our first evening, we had dinner together around a long table, already beginning to find friendships within the group while chatting over pesto pasta, garlic bread, and roasted broccoli (which had taken far too long to cook thanks to the Centre’s sturdy but aging oven). I had no idea how close-knit our group would become by the end of that week.

Some proclaimed it was “the best experience at an artist residency” they had ever had, while others said it was “the most drama-free group dynamic” they had ever encountered. This was in no small part thanks to the facilitator of our group, Maddie Alexander. They wanted to start this artist residency, specifically for trans artists, to provide a space where we didn’t have to explain parts of our identity and field invasive questions before getting to the art itself. And although we talked quite a bit about gender, identity, and bodies throughout the week, it really was a different experience from any I have had before.

As Maddie aimed to create, I found an environment in which I was not only accepted for being trans, but in which my trans-ness was innately understood by my peers. No need for disclaimers, no pressure to act or speak or dress a certain way. I was trans – we were all trans – and that was it. We could just be artists.

Artistic Intersections

While at the residency, I worked on several different embroidery and textile art projects. I am a textile artist. Although I came to the Centre with several embroidery projects-in-progress, which I did ultimately get ahead on, I also tried to stay flexible, and leave room for wherever the week would lead me. I ended up creating a ten-minute video about my experience at Gibraltar Point Centre for the Arts, and specifically my textile art practice and intersections with my cultural and religious background, which was played for an audience of my peers and guests on the penultimate day of the residency.

I felt led to discuss my spiritual journey because I saw the residency as a new beginning for me, and because it took place very near the spring equinox. I am a practicing Armenian pagan, and although I was aware of a holiday near this time, Tsarzardar, I had never celebrated it before. The date changes every year, so when I learned Tsazardar was on the exact day my video was to be shown, I knew that my spirituality would be incorporated in some way. I did some research into the holiday, and ended up creating a video (one of my first video works) that captured my personal journey during the week, my interactions with other participants, my spirituality and learnings about Tsazardar, and my progress on the embroidery pieces I worked on. The week was a rush in the best way – each day felt vast, wide open to whatever the island winds would blow in my direction. At the same time, each was full of activity, interactions with my peers and with our group’s facilitator, exploring the nature around our residence, and the adrenaline of creating in an environment designated for such.

Spirituality and Research

I didn’t initially view the week through an academic lens – I was there to create art and to be in nature. Whatever happened, would happen. But in retrospect, I can see many connections between the work I did during the residency and my coursework and research at TMU. My embroidery work has been folded into my research in various ways, particularly in my thesis project, Mayr Mer, which considers Armenian embroidery, gender, and religion. This also has connections to the concepts of spirituality, ritual, and the sacred, which I explored through my Tsarzardar project at the Centre. Finally, the opportunity to be surrounded by the other participants, who were all artists, but had widely varied practices, reflected the interdisciplinary nature of both art and research. This has been one of my favourite aspects of the Communication and Culture program at TMU, and it enhanced my experience during this residency, too.

As I write this, it has been two weeks since I returned home from the residency. I am glad to be home, but I still miss the experience I had at Gibraltar Point, surrounded by other trans artists and shielded from the busyness and stress of everyday life. I hope to take some of the things I learned from this experience with me, but I also long for the next time I will have such an opportunity. Most of all, I feel a fervent desire to pass this experience on to other trans artists, or perhaps even create spaces like this, in smaller ways, in my own community.

About the Author: Jadi Darawi is an artist and educator based in Toronto, Canada. They are also a Master’s candidate in the Communication and Culture program at TMU. Learn more at jadidarawi.com.

Insights & Ideas is a ComCult blog series showcasing the research and expertise of ComCult students. Designed to engage a broad audience, the series features op-ed-style posts that connect academic insights to real-world issues, making complex ideas accessible and relevant. Each entry highlights the unique perspectives and innovative thinking within the ComCult program. We invite you to explore more stories that amplify research and inspire ideas! (News and Events Archives)